--The Evolution--

of a half-male (moi) to a female (moi)...moi moi moi. crap.

I never thought I'd see the evolution of me, being a half-male turn into a pseudo-half male, to what is seemingly now a all-out female. I used to not care about boys, I didn't really like shopping, I never bothered really to look pretty or wear makeup and all that high heels stuff...oh wait, i still don't really bother...:X ....

But I think I'm becoming more and more female...

que horreurs!

in the past few years, my emotions have been growing more and more. I seem to be more passionate about certain things, and less passionate about others. It seems as if emotional hissy fits are more urgent to rise now and then, more so than before, and I wonder what is it that has caused this. Was it dental school? Insane amount of stress from boards? Seeing my sister go through an intensely emotionally-trying first year in NYC? Worrying about my parents health with everything that cropped up in 2005? Am I just simply going crazy? Delayed onset of femme hormones? OVERDOSE of femme hormones?!??! Am I some sort of unbalanced she-beast?!?!!?!! Noooo!

And then I progress to..."okay so what if i am some sort of unbalanced she-beast."..

SHE-BEAST EVOLUTION EVALUATION:
is having a rollercoaster heart a bad thing? Maybe? Man, this must really suck for guys to deal with. Good thing D is pretty chill. Either that or he, dad, and the rest of my male buddies has some sort of invincible force-field that he uses to deflect my emo-rays. But maybe it's for "Mom-Training"...

MOM TRAINING, an explanation:
when a femme becomes naturally more femme in order to develop the skills to be a good mom. With it comes extra love, extra emo, and extra protective of the people she loves. but with that comes extra craziness, extra emotional rollercoasters, and extra emo-bombs.

emo bomb (eeh-moe bawmb): an explosion of emotion, usually from either built up hormonal stress or from pent up emotions from previous incidences.

Not that I am preggers or planning on being preggers right now in any way whatsoever..but maybe my biological clock is going haywire or something and just shooting off weird emo-rays in all sorts of direction as a warning that it's about to expire and resulting eggs as well. HAHA. Shoot, but with one attending and one co-resident preggers, i think there is enough baby talk for the rest of the year for me.


....man, who knew this could happen? :X

--Random Thoughts--

1.Hot Bar Move: Take Notes.

Last night a few of my dental school classmates came into town, so we met at Rush Street martini lounge for a mini-reunion. Let me first introduce you to the key parties: there's me, Anoosheh (noosh), Niraj, and Sheila (Noosh's best friend, radiology resident).

It was:

1. Niraj's birthday
2. Noosh's homecoming (from the Cleve)
3. re-living LA (when me, Noosh, Sheila, and Scherzad - Sheila's sister - all met up in LA during my externship there two years ago).

Let me particularly focus on Sheila. She's a pretty good looking and pretty well endowed woman. Aint' gonna lie. And her top on Friday night was more than flattering to her blessings by Mother Nature. In fact, it was so flattering that it led to the high point of my night:

Some young guy brushes past me and Noosh,trying to get to the bar where we were all congregating and just creating catch-up conversation. At first I thought he was just some overly zealous pre-drunk schmuck who was just eager to get his drink and felt that the only way to get the attention of the bartender was to push his way through....that is, until he shoved me into Noosh and said to Sheila, "Hey. You're gorgeous. What's your name?"

Wow that's some game, shoving a girl's friends trying to get her attention.

Real smooth.

2. Shop Theory

My friend has a very typical and ingenuous theory called The Shop Theory. It states how girls are items for sale in a shop. There are various sections based on qualifications and values that each girl has. HAHA, I would not be in this shop because I am priceless. HAHAHAHA. Just Kidding. Wait, not really.

Anyways...so my question is really...are guys also items in the Shop Theory? As in to say, is this Shop divided into male and female sections like most department stores? Or is it simply limited to a single-sex store? I would like to think that is is a duo-gender concept. And yes people are probably shopping for a significant other. However, I don't necessarily like the idea of people being categorized as "things". The problem with making people into inanimate objects is that they then lose their human characteristic, and thus, become emotionless. Becoming emotionless is, if you want to put it in "Shop Theory" terms, almost like becoming valueless. Not priceless, there's a difference.

It also makes it easy to lose connection with someone. If say, your significant other was a jacket. What happens if you become "tired" of that jacket? You just take it off, get a new one. It makes people disposable. And by making people disposable, they then become replaceable. And that in turn, makes relationships meaningless, leads to more breakups, taking people for granted, and broken marriages. Except of course, because there is this whole mindset of easily-replaceable object-ism, it ends up being a sick and vicious downward spiral.

Good thing I'm not for sale huh?

--On the topic of college football...

One of my favorite seasons of the year. Yes it is a season, and what a great season it is! Hopefully, my one team - the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame - will redeem themselves from what I deem to be the most disastrous season yet since the Bob Davie hodgpodge years. I still cannot live down the loss to Navy. To NAVY. (but at least we won against Duke otherwise my ex-roommate will not let me hear the end of it!)

Sadly, I will not be able to watch the Irish (hopefully) beat the Wolverines, my other "alma mater". However, since I hated my life in dental school, I feel no real obligation to root for Michigan. That being said, I never rooted for Michigan ;) - the rule is as follows: you root for your undergraduate alma mater...or you die a cursed being. Well, perhaps you won't die as a cursed being, but you will most likely be heavily frowned upon by the thousands of alums, especially after attending a University like Notre Dame where football can be infused into even the most apathetic sport "fan". However, this year's rivalry will have to be watched at a later date due to a wedding that I must attend. Thank goodness for Comcast DVR! The bastards are good for something other than ripping me off on my cable bill.

Let's hope this season of football comes out with at least a decent attempt to redeem ourselves from last year's showing. I'm crossing my fingers for at least a tie with Michigan: it would make my showing in green Irish shorts across the ass and a battered ribcage from flag football practice on Maize Out Day in the student section worthwhile.

True blue Irish fan here. ;)

--Random Thoughts...or Maybe Repeated?--

I was recently asked why there were no more "Random Thoughts" notes, so... my apologies for those who were actually reading them. A lot of life-changing events happened since my last note, and sadly to say for you, they were more of a personal nature HA.

So here are just a few random, and not necessarily altogether profound, thoughts:

1. Top Sports Movies

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a born athlete. I wasn't a born dancer either but I did it long enough (14 years and hopefully still counting) so that I actually got pretty good at it. At some point in time, I became a pseudo-sports fan. You can blame Notre Dame for that. I love college football for that reason even though I cannot call out the play or the ref's call to save my life. That being said, I also love college basketball - you can't NOT love college basketball and college football after growing up in the south. Which leads me to ask the question, what are your top sports movies?
- Love and Basketball
- Remember the Titans

I just finished watching Love and Basketball. It's a cheesy love movie, but it's got basketball in it and so that still makes it a sports movie. I saw it my sophomore year in undergrad and have loved it ever since. Perhaps the one thing that truly gets to me about this movie is how it is about a relationship that has endured through breakups and makeups, going far far away and being so close together at the same time, and all in all, knowing and accepting someone for who they are.

As for Remember the Titans... god, what is there not to love about this movie? It's southern(ish), rowdy, football football football, and has a lifelong learning lesson to be taken to heart. You can't beat a football team singing to Marvin Gaye. That being said, I cannot WAIT WAIT WAIT until college football season starts! WOOT! GO IRISH!

2. Investment

I recently had a discussion with a friend today about a very random random thought. Have you ever noticed how people almost ask where you are from or what school you went to? Perhaps this leans more towards those who have had a college degree, and even more so if there is a graduate degree involved, and perhaps more so if it is along the lines of medicine/health, law, or business. Hmm. This seems to be screaming Asian but correct me if I am wrong at any point in time.

Our discussion involved how relationships, nowadays, even if it is purely platonic, pretty much involves some sort of "investment". And as much as we feel that relationships are not business transactions (and I have blogged about this before on multiple occasions), they really are. Ultimately speaking of course. Think about it, the person that you are "involved" in (be it a friend or significant other) has something to offer for you, and chances are, you probably do something for them too. It doesn't have to be meaningless - investments can be fruitful, be it wonderful company, a sense of humor, companionship, and understanding. However, as with any business transaction, the exchange has to be fair otherwise the deal will fall apart.

That being said, along the more superficial value comes the question of "what do you do?" You can't blame someone for asking you that as the second or third question of the conversation HAHA. In a way, we all are our own investments - the time, the sweat, the tears, the white hairs and sometimes wasted years of life that we spend on grad school, on work, being corporate America's cubicle b*tch or hospital whore...we want to know that the person we end up with has equally put in the same amount of "schtuff" that we have put in. In the end of the day, you want just as many if not less white hairs than your hunny-bunny right? ;) but perhaps that is a very selfish presumptuous thing to say. You tell me? >:D

3. Inner child

Is there anything that makes you reach for your inner child?
There's gotta be a kid in everyone. And there's got to be some sort of stimulus that pulls the joker in us all. I find it very tiring to be an adult. Childhood had no worries, not significant ones anyway (too bad we didn't realize this while we were growing up!). If you think about it, you didn't have to worry about people liking you for who you were because everyone was who they was. (Is that grammatically correct?) You found out people's true nature quite easily. There were no games other than the ones written on lined notebook paper asking you to check 'yes' or 'no'. Fairly simple no?

People wonder why I like my anime so much - it's because watching anime brings me back to my childhood. The lessons are simple, it's fun to watch, and it reminds me of the things that people should be, that I should strive to remain as. In addition, I like children because they remind me of what used to be good, before environment or parents and parental flaws or society-induced parental flaws can do to someone who can potentially be such a wonderful person.

....

well that's it for now. I've put off my bills and adult life for a little too long. I hope this suffices and thanx for reading whomever you are!